Long before they were a gleam in our eyes, probably from the time we were kids we’ve ALWAYS wanted the best for our kids. We want them to have and live better lives than we did. We not only want them to survive but to THRIVE!
As parents we Love our children but we also know that Love is not enough when it comes to raising our kids. Like a plant that needs water, sunlight and other organic nutrients so does our children. But where do we obtain the other nutrients needed to teach our children how to “THRIVE” in society? Unlike puppies or kittens babies don’t come with a book of instructions to follow. Many of us rely on our own childhood in order to teach our children. A trial and error method so to speak.
The Lighthouse Parenting Strategy
From award winning author Dr. Kenneth R. Ginsburg we are introduced to the LightHouse Parenting Strategy. A strategy for parents that offers comprehensive answers to fundamental parenting questions we’ve all struggled with at one time or another.
“We should be like lighthouses for our children; beacons of light on a stable shoreline from which they can safely navigate the world. We must make certain they don’t crash against the rocks, but trust they have the capacity to learn to ride the waves on their own.”
We learn we can continue to Love our kids unconditionally but still hold them to higher expectations. Raising the bar on our expectations of them is o.k. Love feels conditional when parental affection is solely shown as a response to grades, performances or behaviors. Causing unfair pressure to our children.
We must accept our kids (and adults) are “uneven” and we should expect growth and not perfection.
When holding our kids to high moral standards we must also remember to lead by example and be a role model for those standards.
We must know when to set boundaries and remember to get out of our kids way and allow them to practice what we’ve taught them, essentially allowing them to grow.
In today’s high stressful society it is important to recognize the signs and symptoms of stress and teach our children how to cope with it effectively.
Learn how to start meaningful conversations with our children and become a sounding board instead of a dictator.
Anyone who knows me personally would tell you my kids are the most important things in the world to me. They know I Love them unconditionally and there is little in this world within reason that I wouldn’t do for them. However, long before I read this book, I knew in certain situations I was falling short. Not necessarily failing them but I didn’t have the proper tools to prepare them to be independent self reliant men. Many a night I would ponder over conversations we shared and wonder if I said or did the right thing. No parent wants to be a failure to their children. We all want the absolute best for them. Now, after reading: ‘Raising Kids to Thrive: Balancing Love with Expectations and Protection with Trust’, I feel I have the tools I was lacking. I feel more confident in my parenting skills. A lot of things I did have right but a lot of things I didn’t have a clue. This book is not necessarily a manual but a tool to assist parents in their goals. It’s definitely a must-have book that should be on every parents night table.